Calm, confident energy

What exactly is calm, confident energy? How do you stay in that state at all times? Which matters more, the calm or the assertive? These are a few of the questions I am asked most often when working with dogs, and they deserve careful answers, because this one idea sits beneath everything else we do.

Calm, confident energy is the most balanced energy there is, and the only energy a dog will follow. Dogs will not listen to or follow frustration, anger, fear, insecurity, weakness, excitement or anxiety. I gather all of these, and the emotions like them, under a single word: unbalanced.

One of the most common things I see during training sessions is an owner who loves their dog completely, yet arrives carrying one or more of those unbalanced energies. The dog senses it at once. In their eyes there is no pack leader present to follow, and where leadership is missing, unwanted behaviors almost always move in to fill the space.

The leash changes hands

I cannot count the times a dog's behavior has changed the instant I took the leash from an owner, or the instant I addressed the dog rather than the human. What changed? My energy. I am not emotional in my approach, as many owners understandably are. I am instinctual, and instinct is the language a dog understands. Whether the dog in front of me is fearful, aggressive, unsure, dominant, nervous or anxious, my state of mind does not change.

Calm, confident energy is the only energy a dog will follow.

Tuned to the dog in front of you

Holding the same state of mind does not mean holding the same intensity. I adjust my levels of calmness and assertiveness to each dog's behavior and sensitivity. Recently I worked with a dominant shepherd mix who carried a bite history with both people and dogs, and who was not sensitive at all. With them, my calmness stayed at its usual level while my assertiveness had to rise considerably. A few days later I met a ninety-five pound pit bull who was fearful and extremely sensitive. For them, I took a deep breath and became as calm as I could possibly be, while bringing my assertiveness as low as it would go, so that I could help them. The same state of mind, two entirely different settings. That is the honest answer to which part matters more: neither. Calm and assertive are two dials, and the dog in front of you decides where each one is set.

A practice, not a trick

How do I stay in that state? A great deal of practice and a great many repetitions. Like anything worth having, it is a process, and no one arrives finished. Unbalanced emotions will surface; that is not failure, it is being human. The skill is learning to become aware of them the moment they arrive, and then to take hold of them rather than be taken hold of. Do not give up when you feel them rising. Be honest with yourself instead. Pause, take a deep breath, re-balance, and then continue.

The bottom line is this: no matter what your dog throws at you, stay calm and confident. Set the unbalanced emotions and energies aside and give your dog the balanced energy they need from you.

Remember that humans are the only species on earth that will follow an unbalanced leader. A dog never will. So ask yourself, honestly: am I projecting calm, confident energy? Am I the balanced pack leader my dog needs? If the answer today is no, take heart. Dogs do not live in the past or the future. There is no better time to begin than today.